Sexy...it's a state of mind!

     Good morning from the confines of bed rest...not exactly the way I had planned to spend my weekend, but figured I had better listen unless I wanted to spend more than a few days completely out of commission. However, sickness is not going to be the topic at-hand today (sigh of relief, I know), we're going to touch on a far more attractive subject...sexiness :) I'll admit that the song "I'm Sexy and I Know It" is running around my head like a hamster on a wheel, so pardon any references to the lyrics.

    I don't think any of you reading this need the traditional definition for "sexy", and much like myself, you probably equate it with the attractiveness of a person, an attribute or an action. Sexy legs, sexy mama, the way she  twirls her hair is so sexy...you know what I mean! However, there is a whole layer of sexiness that we often don't consider; self-confidence, loving yourself and having that sexy state of mind. Sexy is WAY more than a perfect body, gorgeous legs or a cutesy habit. YOU determine whether you are sexy or not, yes I said YOU! Society has tried to define this term with superficial meaning, but it really inhabits so much more.
   
     During a random conversation with a friend, we were discussing the qualities he was looking for in a potential mate. After reviewing the list, I made a comment that there weren't any physical attributes mentioned and wondered if those were something he simply kept to himself or was potentially afraid he would offend me with statements such as "cute rear" or "killer abs". After continued conversation, he enlightened me to the fact that physical attraction is necessary, but his list of qualities far outweighed the need for someone that fit the societal definition of "sexy". "Nicole, sexy is a state of mind, not a physical attribute". Ta-da, light bulb on, smack back to reality...there we have it, sexy IS a state of mind!

     For the majority of my life, I've never fit any type of traditional mold that would qualify me as sexy. Society has attempted to teach me that being overweight, slightly nerdy and a fairly free-spirit makes me a card-carrying member of the loser club...oh think again! I've been blessed to grow-up in a family that embraces beauty from within, compliments uniqueness and NEVER made me feel anything but beautiful! Without really being conscience of it, I had embraced the sexy state of mind! I may be overweight and different, but I AM SEXY (and so are you, by the way). I may not have the body of a model, I like food WAY too much for that, but I still have features that I find to be gorgeous. Society can be such a hateful entity that it makes us feel wrong if we don't live up to its standards. Trust me, you're more in the right if you throw it's standards to the curb and just live your life!

     By now, you may be questioning me and thinking that the "sexy state of mind" is a bunch of bologna, but let me share this story with you and see if it changes your mind, even a little bit. About four years ago, I was in New Orleans for a work-related conference that crammed about a month's worth of material into a two-day event, needless to say we were all frazzled. On the second day of break-out sessions, I woke up early enough to have a bit of me time before the events of the day were to begin, which was a nice way to clear my head and get mentally prepared. Before heading to the session, I happened to glance in the full-length mirror before exiting the room and smiled at myself...nothing especially different about me on that day, but seeing myself smile made a huge difference. I thought I looked amazing and that was all that mattered. There was an extra pep in my step and confidence that I couldn't hide. I took my place in the hotel conference room with other colleagues from all over the United States and began to chat with one of my local cohorts as I was getting my notebook prepared when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see a woman behind me that had been in most of my break-out sessions and was far from prepared to hear what she was about to say. "Ma'am, I don't mean to sound awkward, but you are strikingly beautiful...your smile radiates and you have captivating confidence." I was speechless! I mustered a "thank you, that was so kind" and couldn't wipe the smile off of my face for the rest of the trip. I had embraced a love for myself and someone else noticed...how cool is that!

     So here is your challenge for the day: go find a mirror and look in it. Not a quick glance, but study yourself. NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS!!! Do you have a wrinkle? So what, it's from laughing too much. Oh your boobs have sagged? Maybe it's because they sustained life for your children. You aren't too sure where the six-pack is? It just means that there is more of you to cuddle. Don't get caught up in the societal framework of sexy, get caught up in your own unique sexy! Embrace you, all of you, and let the world see that "you're sexy and you know it"!!